Saturday, October 17, 2009

Cancer, Rock n Roll, and Street Signs...

Well I have a lot to say for this first little blog about me on here.
First off, my Grandma found out a few months ago that she had breast cancer. And she's lost two sons to cancer, so it really scared me and I'm sure her too. Because my Daddy was one of those she lost, just last year. I was going to call her a hundred times but my phone was screwed up and didn't work 90% of the time for 2 months! And now sometimes it still messes up but I finally got to call her and talk to her. And she told me that she's not doing chemo or radiation, but just on a pill everday. Which is the BEST news, I'd say. She had them just remove the breast instead of the lump. She was like "oh what do i need that dead sagging thing for? I'm not having any more babies!"
haha She's too funny and seems to be handling it ok. That's good. I'd be a mess. I know it, after Daddy, eeks. It was weird enough just calling her, cuz the last few months of his life, he was living with her there. And so my heart kept wanting to ask how he was doing... :| that was weird/hard. bleh.

Alright, before i cry, next subject. I love music. All kinds of music. I just changed my major at college to music because i FINALLY found a school nearby that had music production as a major! It is not the school I am going to now, but I will transfer to it. I WILL!!! I have to. I just have to. It's where my heart is! I belongg with the music.
I just finished watching the movie Anvil, about the heavy metal band. I've never been a metal fan, and I wasn't even a fan of their music, but their story touched me. So many bands just like them in other genres, have so much trouble making a record, because people don't want to help them. Things just go wrong wrong wrong left and right. And its so wrong to me, that people who love music THAT much, would give up everything for it, seem to be having to give up music. But they won't! The world fights them and tries to push them DOWN, DOWN, DOWN but they say "no, i belong on a stage." and they won't quit. Its beautiful. So many people give up on their dreams and some just can't. I relate to the ones that can't. I'm not a quitter. But the thing is, seeing that, they finally got a door open when they got a producer. He helped them out so much. and I want to do that, be there for that struggling band that is at the end of its rope and say "lets do this and make a record" and put some hope back in their hearts. OH I want to do that!!!!! Music shouldn't be a struggle. its beautiful. Perfect. Wonderful, one of the best things on earth.
Sure, some things are worth the fight, definitely, but it shouldn't be that much of a fight!!!

ok last topic ( i could have just made 3 blogs hahaha) ... but I was driving home from school today, and it hit me. Life. Why do so many people have a hard time following God, believing He can guide you to where you're supposed to be? I mean, sure we all struggle following some rules (oh trust me, i'm struggling there hahahah) But even so, He forgives us and we can still be on the right path. But some people don't even think they can get on the right path, that God won't tell them.
And then I was thinking about how traffic, we have to have all these signs to stop, slow down, turn this way, turn that way or we'd all go bumping into each other like cattle or something. We're not very smart. haha Really, we're not. So we need signs to guide us. And its not just traffic, all kinds of things tell us where to go. And we follow cuz otherwise, we'll be a mess. I'd like to think God's the same way. If you're looking you'll see the signs. Will it literally say "TURN AROUND- WRONG WAY" haha no probably not... but maybe. I see signs often that remind me to keep hoping for things. I see signs that say "don't be so hard on yourself" . And the thing is, they are 99% of the time the same thing, a heart. The signs can be anything, but you have to be paying attention to what they are saying. you can usually feel it in your gut. Like an instinct telling you what you're supposed to hear. Tune in, folks. We all need direction, all the time. Don't let your pride say otherwise!!!!

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