Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Only God can judge me... right?

I can be very judgemental about music, especially. I have loved music my entire life. I don't remember a lot of my childhood, but I remember sitting in my parent's room listening to the radio and learning new artists and songs. I loved it. I'd rather listen to music than almost anything else. And when you add music to the other things you do, it just makes them better.
In 97, my life changed. I became a fan of the band Hanson. (yes, that hanson....) Something about their music spoke to my heart and soul and I've never been the same person since. I started talking to people. I was before a extremely shy person. But Hanson gave me something to be excited about, and I wanted to share it. And pretty much since the day I became a fan of them, I have been nothing but teased and ridiculed for it. I would say probably literally every single day for about 13 years. I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm not.
And the first few years, it really bothered me. I didn't understand why people were so mean about it. Its just music! Great music, even! What should it matter if I love them? Even though they continued to play music. Struggled with labels, went independent. They were real artists, and no one would ever give them a chance because of 97. No matter how "real" in music they became, I felt like the only person that heard it. No one else would give them a shot.
As time went on and I became an adult, I'd like to say it got better. That would be a huge lie. Adults are worse than teenagers in the judging department. Oh sure, they didn't take hanson's picture and draw on it stupid stuff, but they did other things. Especially, because as time went on, it went more than just Hanson being my favorite band. I began to have real feelings for one of the members. And people constantly rudely reminded me that he'd never know I was alive.
Well they were wrong about that, I"ve met him numerous times and he definitely knows who I am.

But that's another blog..... this one is about music. I have seen about 50 ++ bands live in concert. I love concerts. All kinds of music, it doesn't even matter!! I just love music, especially live.
There's something about the atmosphere. Everyone there is just there to let go of their troubles, enjoy the lights, the music, all of it. Oh i've had some painful concert experiences that about ruined my show.. but mostly it didn't.
I love almost every genre of music, country, pop, rock, soul, blues, classical, oldies, a tiny bit off jazz, hard rock. I'm not picky, but then again I am.
I am HORRIBLE about judging an artist and going "oh they aren't a real artist..." Because they weren't independent or maybe because they were really famous. Or they were particularly poppy and it was too much sugar for my ears. I've done it, for years. Probably because the world won't let me have my opinion about music, so I guess I learned it was ok to do. Its not.
I've judged probably everyone in music. It didn't matter to me. If I didn't like it, ohhhh they were crap. And anyone that disagreed me was probably someone that had no taste in music as well.

However, about a month or so ago, I had a dream about Justin Bieber, whom I utterly despised even though I had never even heard one song. I was sick of hearing about him on the streets, in the news, ugh! He was everywhere. I was sure he was just another disney product and would turn out being a mans slutting it up like all the other disney stars, turn out to eventually be on drugs and God knows what else. And in this dream, I was his friend. He was telling me about little troubles with the fame he had and we were close. I woke up and was like "OMG EWW!! JUSTIN BIEBER!!! GROSSSS!!!!" But yet, i couldn't shake him out of my head all day.
And slowly, I felt very convicted by God about him. I had sit there and judged this boy for what? I knew NOTHING about him. Nothing! I never heard one song! Let alone HALF of a song. So why was I so quick to judge him? To hate him even??
Grumbling, a few days later, I went and looked up a song. I chose "never say never" and actually kinda liked it. But I was like "OMG I CANNOT LIKE JUSTIN BIEBER! AAHH!! NOOOO!!!!"
I fought it for daaayysss. Finally that song would get stuck in my head and i wanted to hear it again. So i went to itunes and bought it. A few days later, I loved it. Couldn't get enough of it. What has happening to me?!? I couldn't love a Justin Bieber song! NO! That was wrong! He was the enemy right???

Well lets fast forward a bit, I eventually bought one of his albums. I was still struggling with the "shame" of loving his music, but it grew on me more and more. And i eventually bought his other album. I went to see his movie. And that's where it changed. I seen, he was a normal kid. He had played music since he was 2 years old. He can play the drums, QUITE amazingly. He writes, he sings, he plays guitar and piano. The kid was a real talent. He was found on youtube. He struggled with music companies not wanting to play his stuff. He played hundreds of gigs for a few people to a few hundred. He and Hanson were not so different. All young kids with drive and passion for music. Just trying to make it.
And Justin did make it. And he made it big. And sometimes I feel so worried for him. The level of fame he's at... its so big. He cant' go anywhere without a mob of screaming girls. He's only 17 years old. I can't imagine the pressure. I really can't. Most people would crack from it. I don't think he will, he seems to have a good group of grounded people around him. But you never know.

The reason I wrote this blog, is not to tell you about Hanson or Justin Bieber.. No. Its not about any other artist in particular. Its about us. How quick we are to judge someone. Whether its the person that plays the music or the person that LISTENS to the music. We are all different. It shouldn't matter what kinds of music we listen to! Its up to us!
If you want to listen to pop, listen to it! Rock, go for it!!!! Country, ya'll do it!
I love them all. And I shouldn't get flack for not being a real music love, because I certain pop artists.
I love MUSIC. all of it (well... most of it. haha) and i'm trying to change the way I see people. I have no right to judge someone. And I have. And i'm sorry to those people. And I hope you change the way you see it too. If someone loves music, let them.
If someone plays music, let them! Everyone has dreams and passions and things they love.
How DARE we think that we are so much better or smarter that we can say their passions/loves are worthless!!!!!!!!!

Please give it some thought. We've ALL done it. All of us. Its time to stop. Because the judging you to do others, will come back on you. People crash your dreams? People think your talent is worthless?? Maybe this is why. Let it go and be free. Its not worth it.