OTHERWISE - Soldiers (OFFICIAL VIDEO)

going to see them tomorrow in Wichita!!! Can't wait! This is my jam!!!

Shinedown - For my Sake < Song of the day

wow wow wow. i love it.

Win FREE tickets to 3 Doors Down and Daughtry!!!!

Bandsintown on Facebook <-- and="" date="" easy="" entry="" fill="" go="" here="" info="" out="" p="" see.="" the="" to="" want="" you="">
i've seen Daughtry live once in Wichita, he was awesome!! :) I'm sure it will be a great tour!!!!!

The Script - Hall of Fame ft. will.i.am--- SONG OF THE DAY.

hey! On my days off finally... worked 5 out of 6 days that were at least 12 hours. and i wasn't sleepin for nothing. zzzzzz. sleepy!!!

BUT. i had to share this song. I took my comfy spot i was just laying and relaxing to share it with you. So you BETTER LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cuz i only got 3 hours of sleep and i'm here to inspire you!


"be students, be teachers. be politicians, be preachers."  be whoever you want. Just be YOU and be good at it.

" Kick In The Teeth " ------ ok ok just one more song of the day!!!

Ok I'm obsessed with this song. haha! I've listened to Papa Roach all day long. Oh this song is awesome.  There's nothin better than a big rock anthem song. One that makes you want to punch your fists into the air! Scream at the top of your lungs!

whew. I love it.  And I  also love that Papa Roach's songs deep down all have a pretty good optimistic message to them. Probably why I love them so. haha!

So when people are kicking ya down... just get back up and be like, whatever, dude. JUST ONE MORE KICK IN THE TEETH!!

Papa Roach - Burn (song of the day)

this song has been coming on my shuffle a lot.  And plus i've been listening to A LOT of Papa Roach, as I'm gonna go see them in concert next week! WOOO WOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i've seen them once at Uproar Festival last summer, but I was so dehydrated, I couldn't do as much as I wanted to.  So i'm really excited!!!!

Face Primers Review-- ELF and Sephora.

Now I've been trying to do some reviews to help you guys out. I don't get paid for this. I don't get this stuff for free... I BUY it. And press my luck and pray that it will help my silly face issues.
And when I find a good one, I wanna share! To help others out. Cuz ladies... really... make up is such a gamble sometimes to find something that really works for you!
Well I found TWO good face primers.... and between them I don't really have a favorite.... so I'm gonna do them together..

Sephora Perfecting Primer.  

Elf Mineral Infused Face Primer

Ok both of these are what I've been using.  (i'll put some links to buy the stuff at the end) And really... I can't tell a difference between them. They both feel very smooth on my skin and help soak up oil and smooth my skin.  You don't need much of either, like one pump.  

Between this and my foundation, i've had a lot of luck.  

I do know one day I forgot to wear one of them.... and my skin was still oily and gross.  So they REALLY did a difference. 

Either one is a good buy for sure. Especially if you have oily skin and want to soak some of that up and help make your overall skin appearance a bit smoother.

 :)

Really both are good!!!!!!

if you wanna buy Sephora's Perfecting Primer... HERE!!! 

and ELF (about half the price...and like I said, VERY similar) --- HERE! 

and can I say just ONE more thing about ELF... I ordered some of their cream eyeliner from Amazon in Teal Tease  and I LOVED it. It came with a little brush to put on... and it was EASY and smooth. and I got so many compliments on that color. It's really pretty! AND it stayed all day too.  Gosh I love when they do that. hahaha!

They have so many great pops of color. Try some! They are a really good price at $4-7! Not that bad really for something that works and makes you feel pretty. 

Make Review-- Put a Lid on It! from the Balm

Hey! Sorry it's been so long.. Work Work and More Work.

I work a lot of 12 hour shifts day after day after day. But the money's nice, so I try to not complain about it too much! Because I've been able to pay all my bills AND buy me some new things.

LIke I have gone make up crazy lately. I signed up for Birchbox monthly subscription for high end beauty samples. $10 a month for 5 samples. So I'm trying all that stuff, and it's been overall really awesome! :) 

Well this month I got an eyeshadow primer, which I've ALWAYS wanted to try. Because my oily skin just leaves my eyeshadow creasy and smeary by the end of the day.. or completely disappeared.

I've been using a face primer to help control that oil (WORKING!!! but that's for another blog) and Proactiv (ALSO WORKING!!!) but unless i used my Hard Candy liquid eyeshadow, all my shadows would crease and disappear.

So I was very excited to try this. It's called "Put a Lid on It" by the Balm.  I put on my foundation and primer and then put a VERY TINY bit of this on both of my eyelids and let it dry a moment.

I used some eyeshadow I got for Christmas, in one of those little make up sets that aren't usually very expensive, but they have cute stuff... it just never lasts.  Well.... with that primer, i was blown away! I put on all my makeup at 1pm.  At 4am when I got home, it was still on. that's what..... 15 HOURS!!!!!!!! 

SOOOO if you thought I was gonna have that amazing of a result and not tell the entire world, you're crazzzzyyyyyy!!!!

HAHAHA!!!! Really.. if you have eyeshadow creases and staying problems, I would suggest trying it out.  Blew my mind for real!!!!! 

So if you wanna try it out, I found it HERE at Birchbox for $18.

I know.. seems like a lot of money.. .but GIRLLLLLLLL, if you wanna look good all day and night, I wouldn't pass it up. When I run out, I'm gonna cry!!!!!!

OOH! And I forgot to mention....  I normally get the mascara spots on my eyelids, you kno where your eyelashes touch your eyelids... i hate that. THAT DID NOT HAPPEN EITHER!!

party on, wayne.  

Keeping Things Simple...: Gothic ring tutorial

Keeping Things Simple...: Gothic ring tutorial


I made necklaces for my sisters and niece for Christmas.  And I mentioned something to my older sister, Felicia, about a ring size. She says, "ooh are you gonna make me a ring to match my necklace?" And then I found this tutorial... so I'm surely gonna make her something to match!

HAHA i love the internet. You can find anything!!!

Paper Route - Glass Heart Hymn (SONG OF THE DAY!)

Man I just stumbled upon this song today. I LOVE Paper Route, but hadn't heard it yet. It's great. Doesn't sound like anything you're used to, I'm sure.

They are such a great mix of pop/rock/alternative/???? whatever that other genre is!!!!



ps.. sorry it's been so long since i've posted some songs of the day. just working SO much overtime!!!!! but it's ok cuz I'm paying my bills and going on a trip next month! California baby!

oohhh! win win win.

BIRCHBOX  <-- a="a" and="and" benefit.="benefit." could="could" facebook="facebook" from="from" gift="gift" go="go" here="here" like="like" nbsp="nbsp" p="p" pack="pack" that="that" win="win" you="you">
Oohhh i just tried their highlighter and mascara and fell in love.

GOOD LUCK!! (but i hope i win instead. hahaha)

mmmm mmm mmm!!

I'm perfume picky. I don't like musks. I don't like STRONG scents. I like light scents, natural scents, like florals and fruits.
Well I went and ordered some stuff from Sephora  the other day and you get 3 free samples with every order! BOOM! But this day, it was all perfume.. which like I said, I'm very picky. SO I just picked a few and grumbled.

Well my stuff got here and I was like "I can at least smell these samples, even though I didn't want perfume" .... and then I fell in love. HAHAHA! With the brand CLEAN.  Man, that was well named. That scent is soooo fresh and clean. Shower Fresh is probably the best smelling perfume I've ever smelled.  It made me think of ... flowers and rain and magic! But like this beautiful soft scent that lasted quite a bit too! I was amazed! They have a fan for life right there!!
And then I tried the other one, Rain, and love it as well! Wearing it right now. I tell ya, it was hard to break away from Shower Fresh, but i like it.  Rain smells like a flower as well...definitely more of a floral scent than the other.  But it's pretty! Makes you feel like a lady.
I can't wait to try there other stuff!!!!!

Soooooooo GOOO LOOK THEM UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Clean twitter 

Official site

Facebook link


so go. go now. or go to Sephora and find a way to get a sample! or if you're luckier than I am and live near a city... get to a department store and find a spray bottle!!!!

Angie Harmon End Trafficking PSA - U.S. Fund for UNICEF

how something like this happens in America, I will NEVER understand!!!

Song of the day. "Waste"

I love this song. The first time I heard it, I was having a hard time with life and just feeling like I had no purpose and was tired of the day in and out and nothing changes..... so it really stuck with me.
It's a beautifully written song. I love love love it.

Gollum vs. Smeagol Rap Battle

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha i'm dying!!!!!!! the lady elves and the bass. oh my gosh. i was dying. dyingggg


smeagol wins to me.

ain't nobody got time for that!

my best friend Laree made me listen to this... it never leaves your head.

Have you ever FELT Jesus?

This post might be "controversial" to some... but whatever. I speak what's on my mind and heart all the time, really. I'm not good at hiding what I'm feeling. It's my worst weakness really. I'm too emotional of a person really. I hate it.


Ok.. well this whole blog has to go back to 2005. I was (and am) madly in love with a singer, Zac Hanson.  ya ya ya... that hanson... the mmmbop one. Well I had been crazy about him for years and then I met him and it got worse and worse. Because he's a great guy. He's funny and smart, even though he can't spell for anything, he's got this HUGE heart. He does what he can to make everyone feel special. It's quite adorable. It's actually almost impossible to not fall in love with him. If you've ever met him, you would know.  When I first met him in 2004, he was dating a girl named Kate. I seen her... she gave me a bad vibe, but there was nothing I could do about it, obviously. Well in 2005 he announced his engagement to her.
I was at work... then at the high school as a paraprofessional.  One of the students was like "hey didn't that hanson boy you like get engaged?" I laughed and was like "no... not that I know of!!" Then he showed me the article online. My heart fell to the floor.
Now... before you judge me and say I'm obsessed or say it's just some crush on a "celebrity"... don't. I can't explain to you what it's like. I love that man more than anything. i've sacrificed more in my life than I can even tell you, waiting for him. And not even that... because I loved him. I wanted to be ready at any time if God would ever change his mind, and he would just come to me. I can't even tell you how many times I've prayed about it. I'm sure God is quite sick of me talking about it, honestly.

But back to where I was... I found out he was engaged. I was at work... I wanted to pretend it was a joke. I wanted to curl in a ball and cry. I couldn't do either. I just had to keep going until I got home.

Well i got home later that day... and I put on my headphones to drown the world out, my favorite past time.  That particular day, I was stuck on "Ghost of You" by My Chemical Romance.
here's the chorus of the song, which i was particularly relating to.
At the end of the world or the last thing I see
You are never coming home 
Never coming home
Could I? 
Should I?
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever ever 




So I was there sitting in my room, crying as I'm listening to that song... dwelling in that pain, wishing with my whole life there was something I could do to change it. Not that I didn't want him happy. OH heavens no!!! Quite the opposite.. I was happy he had love... sad it wasn't with me. All I've ever wanted was for him to be happy. I was just torn in half about the entire situation ( And continue to be to this day... but worse).  This day I was 1/2 numb, 1/2 hurt. I've felt sadder in my life since that time... and before it. But I remember it so clearly, and recently I remembered it and started to wonder some things about it.

I was sitting there on my bed, headphones in my ears, knees bent up, crying... and  I could SEE and FEEL Jesus, like LITERALLY  Jesus, there with his arms around me. And as soon as I noticed it and was surprised and comforted at the same time, it was gone. Just like a flash.  After it was over.. I was sitting there kind of shocked for a moment.. Why then??? Ya, I was heart broken, but I've been worse. I've had sadder moments I figured he would have showed up for.. but nothing. I mean, I've had the warm feeling that comes over you and you just know is the Holy Spirit..... but I never SAW anything.  Not even when my Daddy passed away, and I assure you, I've never been as crushed as I was then. 

Onward though, I don't want to get talking about that.........Oh man... I  have to mention something else, I almost forgot.  During that year, I would get so hurt and tell God I was done with loving Zac, I couldn't handle it. It was too much. I wasn't cut out for it. Days I'd be crying on the floor. I'd be ripping any pictures I had of him up and throwing them away, bawling as I did it. I just couldn't deal with it. I couldn't love him as much as I did, if I was never gonna have my shot. And I prayed and I prayed and I prayed. And every time I prayed, I would get the same verse.. ."Anything is possible, if you believe" and it would renew me for a small amount and then I'd break down again and hear it again. But one time I was done. BEYOND done. I was bawling and praying and I told God, as heartfelt as I could, that if I couldn't have him, I'd be ok with it. I just wanted him happy. But if there was hope for us, I NEEDED to know. I couldn't live without knowing. I had to know for sure. Because if there was hope, I needed to see it. But if I was living a lie and dreaming of something false, then I wanted to know. I always try to be 100% honest with myself. 
And I heard something. I don't even remember the exact words... but it said we would be together. And so I tried to believe. 
 in 2006, not long after hearing that word,  he was married to her. I was at work the day it happened. I did break down and had to go home, I couldn't hide it. I cried all night and part of the next day. I was forcing myself to not cry for quite some after that. I didn't understand how you can hear a word from God and then he's married. When you read over and over God doesn't like divorce. I was so confused. I thought it was over. I tried giving him up. 
Those were some of the hardest times, it's making me cry just thinking about them. All the music in the world, my favorite thing, felt empty. He was in every song on every channel.  All the beautiful things just felt like the world was gloating without me. Any time I was alone, even if it was for a few minutes, I'd start to cry. And have to slap myself to stop. I HATE crying. You have no idea. I hate hate hateeee it.  I'm not gonna go into much more detail.... except the fact that it's now 2013, and new years are the worst. You try to be hopeful that the new year will be different than all the past ones. but they usually aren't. And it means to me, that another year went by, when he's still with her and i KNOW in my soul, he's unhappy...... and I can't fix it. I can't do anything except sit here and wait. It EATS my heart alive somedays... I can't even tell you.  Until you've loved someone with every ounce of your being for 15 years.... you'll never know... 
But my whole point of this rambling emotional blog.... is that recently I was thinking the other day... as I'm trying to stay hopeful and positive... WHY on earth when I'm more miserable now than I was then, after watching him be married for 6 years and have 2 kids? Knowing that if their marriage has fallen apart (he never talks about their marriage), he wouldn't leave anyway, because he's such a family man, he'd never leave those kids.... 
but I try and try to see the hope and hold onto the word I got when it looks beyond hopeless.  The point is.... I was thinking, maybe Jesus didn't come then because I was sad..... but because he knew the road ahead of me was so long and hard to bare.  He knew 8 years from then I'd be sitting on my bed crying writing this stupid blog, the wound in my heart as fresh as the day it was cut open.? It's the only thing that makes sense really. 

And yes, I'm sorry this is so long. I've just been trying to focus on other stuff for weeks now... and it all just came pouring out of me tonight. damnit.  So I apologize for my emotional rambling. I'm a natural writer... i don't know how to shut up! It's a good/ bad habit I guess. 


I would like to hear if any of you have had personal experiences  with anything similar when you felt Jesus or the holy spirit when you were needing it... I'm very curious.  
Thanks if you read all that. sorry! 

How To Contour Your Face Like A Celebrity | Birchbox

How To Contour Your Face Like A Celebrity | Birchbox


 what a great article... really made me think and can't wait to try some of that stuff!!

only $10 a month for high quality beauty

Yep! That's right if you sign up with Birchbox you can get high end beauty products delivered to your door every month! For only $10!!!!! Really a deal you can't pass up. i know I didn't!!!

I'm sooo glad i signed up.

Free Music from Tyrone Wells

Seriously guys.. I've posted about him before and I'll do it again... and again!! he's amazing!
check it out.  I've seen him live 3 times and could do it more and more!!!
He is such a talented singer/songwriter. Full of heart and soul.  If he doesn't win you over.... i don't know what wilL!!!!!


And Noisetrade is a great site!!! if you wanna donate to the artist, please do!!! If you can't that's fine! Just leave an email and you'll get a link for the free music. easy peasy.

Free Music from Tyrone Wells | Best Of Sampler

Win a trip to the Phillipines!!!!!

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seriously.. are you NOT gonna enter it????? really.. you are. you know it.

Eucerin Professional Repair Extremely Dry Skin Lotion

Eucerin Professional Repair Extremely Dry Skin Lotion

Free Detox Sample of Detox 'n Slim Protein Smoothie

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just signed up for mine.. weight loss is one of my goals!